Content warning: This story discusses rape and violence.

Tina Marie Risico is ready to share her truth. 

Forty years after she was kidnapped when she was 16 by serial killer Christopher Wilder, she spoke out for the first time in The Beauty Queen Killer: 9 Days of Terror to detail the brutal days she spent being tortured by the race car driver in 1984. 

"A lot hasn't been opened in 40 years," Risico, now 56, shared on Hulu's new series. "I want to share my side of the story, my truth. Why did Tina survive being tortured and controlled? If nobody has ever been in that situation of captivity, it's difficult for people to grasp the concept. But I lived it."

On April 4, 1984, the then-high schooler had been at a mall in Torrance, Calif., to apply for a job at Hickory Farms when she was approached by Wilder, known as the Beauty Queen Killer. He praised her good looks and told her he worked with a modeling agency, inviting her to go offsite to shoot some pictures. 

"This is the one point that I regret every second of my life, every day," Risico said. "I got in the car with this perfect stranger when all bells and whistles were going off in my head. Why didn't I listen to my instincts? Why didn't I listen to the voice in my head?"

They drove to the Anaheim woods, where Wilder pulled his gun on her and told her to take off her top. The Aussie later raped her in his car, she told investigators, before taking her on a cross-country road trip to evade police for his past crimes, including the murders of seven other women. 

Risico said she was raped nightly at the hotels they stayed in and said he also cut a lamp cord to electrocute her, which has left her with scars on her upper body and nipples.

The 16-year-old slept next to the 39-year-old with her wrists handcuffed above her head—which remains the only position she can sleep in today. 

"I felt helpless," Risico, who said she grew up around drugs and had been abused in elementary school, explained. "Helplessness is an awful feeling. When all of a sudden you realize your civil rights and your whole morality is being taken and controlled by someone else. And in order to survive, you have to obey. And I didn't like it, but I had to deal with it." 

That's why, she said, when Wilder asked her to approach a girl at a mall in Gary, Ind., and convince her to come with them, Risico felt coerced to do what she was told. "All that was going through my head was, 'How can I save her? How am I going to tell her to get away from here?'" she said. "But I just did what he said."

Dawnette Sue Wilt, also 16, said she was enticed by a fashion show modeling offer and joined the pair in the car as they set off. 

"After he was done raping her, raping me, he allowed—said, 'You need to go take a bath,'" Risico recalled. "And while I was in the bath, I could see the lights dimming on and off, so he was electrocuting her. And she was screaming. I could hear her from the bathroom."

To this day, Risico said her two regrets are getting in the car with Wilder and taking Wilt with them. "It was a choice," she said. "It wasn't mine, but it was a choice, and I had to live with that."

Wilder later stabbed Wilt in the woods, leaving her to die, although she survived and got help from a nearby driver. With the police on his trail, he stole a car from 33-year-old Beth Dodge, who he shot and killed while Risico said she watched.

The killer then bought Risico a plane ticket back to LAX to set her free. As she recalled, he simply told her "bye" and then tried to drive to the border to Canada.

Ultimately, Wilder was caught in New Hampshire on April 13, 1984 and shot himself in front of police, ending a nationwide manhunt. 

But Risico's return to California sparked debate whether she had been his accomplice—claims Risico denied on the show, saying the allegations upset her because she was a minor and a victim. (Wilt noted on the show that she felt the pair were together at the time of her kidnapping, but later realized Risico was also a victim.)

Still, reporters hounded Risico for answers, with the public wondering why she survived his rampage. 

"Why did I survive and they didn't? I don't know. That's everyone's question," Risico continued. "I never screamed. I never retaliated. I succumbed and, you know, was vulnerable to him. I don't like playing games, but it was a game. I'm gonna survive in playing this game." 

It remains a painful chapter of her past that is difficult to discuss.

"I had to be so suppressed at the time with him, that still today, I'm still in that frame of mind when I have to talk about it," Risico said, "because I'm still trapped, compartmentalized in that moment of his Jedi Mind f--k on me."

The Beauty Queen Killer: 9 Days of Terror is streaming on Hulu.

For free, confidential help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 or visit rainn.org.