You've been on what feels like a million dates. Sometimes you'll feel a connection... but it eventually ends in disappointment. You start to ask yourself: "Is there even a point in dating? Will I ever find love?"
It's called dating burnout − and dating and relationship experts say it's a common experience among those putting themselves out there, especially in the era of dating apps.
"Dating fatigue, dating burnout is totally normal, and I think it's something that is becoming more and more prevalent," relationship therapist Kimberly Moffit says.
Celebrity matchmaker and online dating expert Carmelia Ray says dating burnout might as well also be called "online dating fatigue," given how the illusion of limitless options on dating apps can make people feel overwhelmed, especially if they're on what seems like an endless cycle of fruitless first dates.
"To me, I think the definition of dating burnout is when, like a work burnout, you feel like you've exhausted all your options," Ray says. "You're doing everything you can. It just seems like everything you're doing isn't working, and so you just get fatigued."
People can get burnt out for a number of reasons, from several unsatisfactory dates to running into the pitfalls of dating apps, like getting ghosted, flashpanned or catfished.
According to Ray, you can tell you're experiencing burnout in your dating life when dates start to feel like chores, rather than as exciting opportunities. Dating should be fun, so if you feel yourself becoming negative, pessimistic or not putting effort into your dates, you're probably burnt out.
"A tell sign if you're experiencing dating burnout is when you're lacking motivation, you're not looking forward to the dates you're going on, you're not even looking forward to trying, and every date you go on, your mindset is that this is never going to work," Ray says. "There's just a lot of bitterness, a lot of resentment, a lot of blame, a lot of negativity."
Flashpanning:Why is your exciting new fling afraid of commitment? They may be a 'flashpanner.'
This attitude can also carry mental health ramifications, worsening anxiety, depression and negative self-talk.
Moffit says daters can experience burnout out if they set unrealistic expectations on what they want their love lives to look like. When your love life doesn't follow the strict timeline you had in mind, you're more likely to get burnt out.
"The more specific their goals are, the more burnt out they can get," Moffit says. "If somebody says, 'OK, I'm 30 right now, and by the time I'm 35, I want to have a husband, kids, a dog, a picket fence' − that type of pressure can really wind someone up and put them in a really anxious, depressed state."
Why am I being ghosted?What am I doing wrong?
If you're feeling dating burnout, Moffit and Ray offer the following tips.
All the single ladies:Never been in a relationship? You're not alone.
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